Monday

Mondays seem to be the worst days for my master. I do not really see any difference between days any more; I do not think I would tell the difference between months if it was not for the drastic change in weather. Living for several hundred years will do that to you. You lose track of things and everything becomes just...time. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks...they all just blend...Anyways, as I was saying, my master was having a decidedly bad day, not to mention she had her menstrual cycle. Of course she did not tell me that. However, I smelled it, being undead gives you not only better sense of sight and hearing but also a better sense of smell, of course no one ever remembers to mention that. Really, when you think about it a super sense of smell is not very useful. What are you going to do? Reiterate what someone had for lunch or what deodorant he or she is wearing? Well, Police Girl found a use for it, amazingly, and was useful, for once. If I still had bowel movements I would have taken one in my pants when I heard that. She can be so unnerving at times. So where was I? Oh yes, I smelled it, the blood of my master, it was amusing when I told her I could smell her blood. She turned a cherry red; it was wonderfully amusing, like that time when I had people’s heads on spikes in my town. Their reactions were almost on par amusement-wise with hers. However, it got better with hers. I told her that it was such a waste, all that blood, and asked if I could have some. She threw her ashtray at me...It broke my nose. It was truly wonderful. Yes, it was a good way to start my Monday. Now if only I could get a hold of Anderson. Then my Monday would be perfect. It is always such a pleasure to fight him. We exchange weapons, insults, and it makes an eternity of existence life (or would that be un-life?) more bearable. Perhaps if I were to write an insulting letter to that megalomaniac Maxwell Anderson might show up. Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea I will get on it tomorrow so that I might have an even better Thursday of Friday. However, I will have to settle without the Judas priest for today. I guess I can call today a good day as long as I do not have to deal with Police Girl. She showed such promise that night but has proved to be little more than a disappointment. What vampire does not drink blood? She goes on and on about being human and it is grating on my nerves! What is so stupendous about being human? What good does pity and kindness do? I will never understand humans. Well now, it seems that the front of the Hellsing manor has exploded. The day is really looking up.